Updated: Jan 15, 2022
This is an excerpt from my book, Real Sex Issues.
It's quite lengthy but in light of the recent ruling, I pray that it provides
biblical clarity and reconciliation for those who struggle with it.
‘A transsexual said he didn’t know whether he was a man or woman; find out who you are in Christ and go from there.’ - Gregory Dickow, Pastor, Life Changers Int’l Church
This is a very sensitive topic and I must tell you upfront, I’ve never been with a woman therefore, I don’t have an experiential background; neither do I have a definitive answer for its root, cause, and effect. But what I will share, is what I received by the Spirit of God, after I prayed and asked Him to teach me how to minister to those who struggle with it. We’ll start our study in Genesis 1:27. ‘…God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.’ Notice God created the male and female at the same time; but it wasn’t until Genesis 2:7 that He ‘…formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living being.’ Though God created both male and female – at the same time; at this point in history, the female had not become a living being. Therefore, man was the only one present.
Genesis 2:21, 22 says, ‘…the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. Then the rib which the LORD God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man.’ Here we see God taking a part out of man and making that part into a woman. Now the question becomes, what part? Here, the scripture says ‘the rib’. The Hebraic definition for rib is tselá which means ‘the side or beam1’. Foundationally, the side of a thing or a beam is used for support. Therefore, it is safe to conclude that God took Adam’s support and made it into a woman. And as such, a woman was created to support her man. Is this true today? Absolutely, but there’s more!
Again, Genesis 2:22 says, ‘Then the rib which the LORD God had taken from man He made into a woman.’ The LORD God specifically took the man’s rib and with that rib He made it into a woman. That means within that rib was everything that a woman represents; her reproductive ability, social and intellectual skills, and more importantly – her femininity. Therefore, there was a feminine side in Adam that God deliberately took out and made into a woman; which means God intentionally removed the femininity out of man. That tselá – the part or ‘side’ of him that had feminine tendencies was intentionally taken out of him – by God. And as such, may explain why those who struggle with homosexuality tend to believe they were ‘born that way’.
Without going into great detail, man’s desire to be feminine or the act of homosexuality came into existence as soon as Adam partook of the fruit. At that moment, ‘through one man sin entered the world, and death through sin, and thus death spread to all men.’ (Romans 5:12) When sin entered the world, man’s thinking changed. No longer did men want to do what God originally intended, but they ‘[left] the natural use of [women and] burned in their lust for one another.’ (Rom 1:27) ‘For even their women exchanged the natural use for what is against nature.' (Rom 1:26) Nature, here, is not referring to ‘mother nature’ but ‘the natural production, disposition, constitution, and usage’ of a woman.
Suppressing the Truth
Because Adam chose to defy God and partake of ‘the tree of the knowledge of good and evil’, ‘sin entered the world’ and thus ‘the wickedness of man was great in the earth and that every intent of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually.’ (Gen 2:17, Rom 5:2, Gen 6:5) Men were so wickedly brazen that ‘the men of Sodom’ blatantly demanded that angels be required to lie with them carnally. (Gen 19:1-5) That same boldness exists today. Those that are ‘about that life’ are quite audacious. They adamantly demand acceptance of who they believe God created them to be; even though the Bible explicitly states otherwise. You too may be one of those audacious ones. You try to force people to accept you; so much so, you’ve become defensive which keeps you in a never ending battle. You’ve demanded that in order to love you, we have to accept your lifestyle. For those who don’t, you’ve developed a zero tolerance policy; so much so, that you lash out, argue, debate and will fight those who defy your order. But why won’t we accept who you are? I can only truthfully speak for myself and say that in order for me to do so, I’d have to accept a lie.
Romans 1:18 says ‘…[wo]men…suppress the truth in unrighteousness.’ What that means, is if you are a lesbian, you inherently know the truth. You know God didn’t create you to be sexually attracted to women. But yet and still, you suppress the truth with your actions. And because you do, ‘…God [has given you] up to uncleanness, in the lusts of [your] heart, to dishonor [your] body among yourself, [because you] exchanged the truth of God for the lie.’ (Rom 1:24) You exchanged the truth - that God created you for man and that you’re supposed to be ‘joined to’ your husband; for a lie. (1 Cor 11:8, 9, Gen 2:24) And because you did, ‘…God gave [you] up to vile passions.’ (Rom 1:26) Not because He doesn’t love you, but because you refused to ‘retain God in your knowledge.’ On several occasions, God attempted to give you knowledge of who you are, who He is and who you are in Him, but you rejected it and Him. And as a result, your mind is now debased and please don’t be offended. What that simply means is that you’re living life without the power of God. Notice I didn’t say without Him; just without His power.
You see some believe that since you’re gay, it is impossible for you to love and serve God and that’s just not true. You do. But ‘…although [you know] God, [you] did not glorify Him as God, nor were thankful.’ You didn’t glorify God by acknowledging you are a ‘fearfully and wonderfully made’ woman uniquely created by God; nor were you thankful that it was His decision that you be one. (Ps 139:14) Instead, you ‘became futile in [your] thoughts’ and started thinking you weren’t what God created you to be. What happened is that you’ve yielded to what the Bible calls an unclean spirit. It can best be described in what I discovered a few years back.
While riding the bus, I overheard a gay gentleman get unusually loud. Not that I was ear hustling, but this young man seemed to want everyone to know of his plans. As he talked, I noticed that both his pitch and tone fluctuated. At times, he’d drag his voice in a feminine tone and in others, the tenor would emerge; to which it seemed as if he’d take hold of himself and revert back to a feminine drawl. In that moment, I didn’t judge or condemn, I simply prayed for him and asked God what led him to speak that way. The Spirit of the Lord let me know that one day he heard himself speaking with that drawl; and though it wasn’t coming from him – per se, he mistook it for himself and overtime, it worsened and became more distinct. But the voice wasn’t him, it was an unclean spirit deceiving him into thinking that he wanted to speak that way. And because he yielded and actually spoke what he heard, he progressively began to act that way as well. There were several occasions when the truth of who he really is was presented to him; but instead, he refused or ignored it.
You see everything starts with a thought; which if not countered with the truth of God’s Word, will consume your way of thinking. When that unclean spirit started tormenting and speaking to you in what sounded like your own voice, God gave you the opportunity to either refuse that thought or He presented an opportunity for you to hear the truth; but for whatever reason, you chose to hold on to the lie. For you, perhaps a thought came and suggested that you look at another woman’s butt or stare at her breast, so you acted on it; and because you did, you suppressed the truth. You thought that because of your athletic abilities, you had to suppress your femininity and as such, defaulted into a lesbian lifestyle. And because you did, 'God gave [you] up to vile passions.’ (Rom 1:26) Not that He gave up on you; but because He loves you so much, He simply stepped back and let you do what your heart desires. Which is why you’re so defensive. For the majority of your adult life, you’ve had to defend a lie – that there’s nothing wrong with the fact that you’re sexually attracted to women or the fact that you’re simply a man trapped in a woman’s body.
Not that I’m judging, but when I see you, I see who God made you to be; I don’t see a man. If I walked up and told you that I were a goose – what would you think? Would you immediately start rubbing my arms and encourage me to fly? Absolutely not! Am I comparing you to a bird? No, but my point is that you see me - the way I see you; the way God created us to be. And when I see you, I see the truth. So to demand that I see you any differently, is asking me to exchange the truth of who God created you to be for a lie. Because when I see you, I see a daughter of God. And if the truth be told, sometimes you do too.
When It’s Time to Walk Away From Lesbianism
In fact, you’ve even considered leaving that lifestyle. But because you’ve so adamantly defended and came out about it, if you were to change, you’d feel like a hypocrite. So instead, you live with guilt and condemnation; which again has made you highly defensive. And because you’re constantly guilt ridden; you’re addicted to drugs, food, or may even use more sex to numb or drown out the guilt; because that’s the only time you don’t think about the guilt, pain, and shame and thus the cycle continues, as does the torment. You’re tormented, harassed, and on top of that, judged by society and family who try to guilt you into stopping; which results in you becoming more defensive and more determined to remain in that state. But if the truth be told, you feel trapped because you genuinely want to stop. But then that’s even laughable because leaving that lifestyle isn’t as simple as ‘just stopping’. It’s not like you can just stop the strong sexual desire you’ve had all these years.
But yet and still you’re trapped or so you think. You continue in a way of life that you constantly have to defend and even though you’d like to stop; you believe the lie that you can’t. Why?
Because if you do, you’re just like the people who said you were going to hell and that God didn’t love you because you are the way you are. And you don’t respect those people because you know a few of them personally and though they profess to be Christians, you know they’re hypocrites because the husband is having an affair with one of your gay friends and one of your co-workers is sleeping with a married man. So how can they judge you? But can I tell you something? I’m not here to judge, but you can stop. God loves you and so do I. In fact 2 Corinthians 5:19 says, ‘…that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not imputing their trespasses to them, and has committed to us the word of reconciliation.’ God’s not imputing the sin of lesbianism on you. You need to know, in fact I plead with you ‘on Christ’s behalf, be reconciled to God.’ But yet even after my pleading I know there are still some who aren’t willing to be. You aren’t willing to stop living a gay lifestyle. Yet, there are others who genuinely feel trapped because you sincerely don’t know how to stop and for you, I recommend you re-read ‘Real Reconciliation’. But prayerfully, you are among the few who are willing to be reconciled. In fact…
Pray this with me: Heavenly Father, I confess that having sex with other women is sin and as such I repent and ask that You’d please forgive me. I no longer want to be attracted to women and live that lifestyle, but I don’t know how. Lord, I ask that You’d teach me. In Jesus’ name.
Please know that even though you don’t look like it and you probably don’t feel like it – you are reconciled. Deliverance and forgiveness are possible. How do I know? Look at me. If God in His mercy can save, heal, and cause an ex-whore to abstain from sex for twelve years and write a book about it; then He can and will do the same for you. Because when you think about it, my sin was no different than yours. It was never God’s intent for a woman to be predisposed to use another woman’s body for sexual gratification; neither did God intend for an unmarried woman to have extramarital or premarital sex with a man; but I did, so my sin is no different than yours. We both yielded to unclean, lying spirits. The difference between me and you is that I got tired quicker than you. I was tired of being a side piece and a jump-off. I was tired of being impregnated and infected. Baby girl, like you, I was tired.
And don’t be afraid woman of God; you won’t always have that strong sexual desire for other women. I was a sex addict, but as I began to practice abstinence, those sexual desires left. That’s major because from the time I was 5 until the age of 32, there was hardly ever a day that I didn’t engage in some type of sexual activity; whether with myself or others. So please know, you won’t always feel that way. Plus, Isaiah 43:25, 26 says, “I, even I, am He who blots out your transgressions for My own sake; and I will not remember your sins. Put Me in remembrance; let us contend together; state your case, that you may be acquitted.’ That means once you repent, God is going to blot out your transgressions and as well as the memory of them. You don’t have to fear remembering the sexual acts or the women. God is so good that He’s going to help you to no longer remember and He’ll give you the grace to disassociate yourself from that lifestyle.
A great example of this is in 2 Corinthians 7:2 when Paul said, ‘Receive us; we have wronged no man, we have corrupted no man, we have defrauded no man.’ This was coming from a man who had persecuted the church and caused Christians to be killed. Years later, he’s writing to the same church he once persecuted declaring that he’d wronged no man and you know what? In the eyes of God he hadn’t. And if you’ve repented, you can say the same. Though you’ve been with several women, once you repent and let this Word – by way of this book, get into your heart, you’ll be able to say that just because you were once bisexual or a lesbian, you aren’t any more; regardless as to what people say or think. God says that ‘I, am He who blots out your transgressions for My own sake; and I will not remember your sins.’ Paul could say that he’d wronged no man because after the Lord Jesus met him on the road to Damascus in Acts 9:1-6, Paul was a new man and at this moment, so are you.
“Then Saul, still breathing threats and murder against the disciples of the Lord, went to the high priest 2 and asked letters from him to the synagogues of Damascus, so that if he found any who were of the Way, whether men or women, he might bring them bound to Jerusalem.
3 As he journeyed he came near Damascus, and suddenly a light shone around him from heaven. 4 Then he fell to the ground, and heard a voice saying to him, “Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting Me?” 5 And he said, “Who are You, Lord?” Then the Lord said, “I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting. It is hard for you to kick against the goads.” 6 So he, trembling and astonished, said, “Lord, what do You want me to do?”
When Paul identified Jesus as the Lord that he’d once denied, his transgressions and sins were immediately blotted out. God no longer remembered him as the man that ‘[breathed] out threatenings and slaughter against [His] disciples’; but saw him as the man that would go on to write two-thirds of the New Testament (Acts 9:16). And the same is true for you. God no longer sees you as the chick that rocks J’s and sports bras in an attempt to suppress who you really are. He sees you as the little girl who left her femininity in the bed of the man that molested you or who exchanged it on the ball field. God desires to help you become the Sexually Pure Bride™ He created you to be. Paul changed, I changed, and so can you. But the first step to change is to repent and say, ‘Lord, what do You want me to do’ and who do You want me to be. So please…
Pray this with me: Heavenly Father, please forgive me when I exchanged the truth for a lie. I’m sorry that You had to give me over to uncleanness and a reprobate mind. I ask You to forgive me for the way I’ve lived. I confess it as sin and ask that You’d cleanse me. Lord, fill me with Your Holy Spirit and teach me how to be feminine and change me into the woman You created me to be so that I can have and experience the God-kind-of-love You created me to have. In Jesus name.
Copyright 2015 © Real Issues Ministries®. All rights reserved.
SOURCE: 1 “Blue Letter Bible: Book of Beginnings – Genesis Chapter 1 – King James Version.” Blue Letter Bible. Sowing Circle, n.d. Web. 21 Apr. 2015.